Your Possessive Husband Needs Your Help! – By Elizabeth Badejo

  1. A possessive husband can make his spouse’s life uncomfortable and unbearable by creating constant confusion and disagreements within the household due to his irrational behaviour. It could be an extremely agonising experience for his spouse who has to live with this ordeal but sadly when not tackled, it can completely destroy the marriage and also tear the family apart if children are involved.Getting a grip on how best to deal with your husband’s possessive behaviour will not only restore peace in your marriage but can also help your husband on his journey to recovery.

    IT’S A COMMITMENT

    Nurturing a marriage requires a lot of efforts but when you consider the option of walking away from it all, it may look like a better and painless option. But if you are prepared to commit yourself to the cause of helping your possessive husband overcome this obsession, it is a huge effort and dedication which can be achieved through tenacity and patience. It is when you accept that your husband’s setbacks are your setbacks too that you will be able to help him rather than condemn him.

    UNDERSTAND HIM

    Having a clear understanding of feelings and how it affects his behaviour is very crucial. Find a time when the mood is conducive to talk, a period when the atmosphere is peaceful and start a conversation on possessiveness and let him admit or deny this behaviour.

    Ask your husband to explain his possessive attitude to you in simple terms and also tell you those things you do that trigger his possessive behaviour.

    Understanding your husband’s childhood and exposure is very important in evaluating his behaviour and emotions also. He may have inherited some certain traits which may be affecting his behaviours.

    Whatever you do, be willing to listen, take note and not become defensive. If you listen to him without any distraction, he would feel wanted and loved and you will certainly get a positive result towards resolution too.

    RECOGNISE HIS STRENGTHS

    Every man wants to express his power and strength in marriage, unfortunately insecurity arises if your husband begins to feel inferior where there are major differences such as exposure, background, education and most importantly career pursuits.

    Your husband is likely to feel insecure if he sees you more as a competitor or superior rather than his wife and companion. In his frustration, he can become controlling and possessive. Recognising his unique strengths from inception is very important which keeps him on the upper edge. Let him know how much you admire and appreciate him and learn to encourage and support him when he is feeling low too..

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